I Will Pour Girl's Tears Like Rain
by prouvaires
Summary: Because no-one can truly screw a girl up like you: Chad Dylan Cooper, triple-named moron/serial heart-breaker. I’ve been crying myself to sleep for a year now over you. I don't know why, you don't deserve it. Rating for mild language.


**Song you should listen to is Russia's entry for Eurovision 2009 – Mamo, by Anastasia Prihodko. Search it on youtube, it'll be worth your while. I have used the English translation for the song, which is as close as you can get while still making grammatical sense.**

~x~

_I should have listened. Shit, shit, shit, I should have listened._

**Out of the shadows once again, my enemy - my love  
Destiny can't be avoided, no matter how much you're prepared**

Destiny can't be avoided. Hell, I'll subscribe to that belief any day. No matter how much I tried to fight you, no matter how much I tried to pull away from you, I still fell hard for you, and look where it's left me.

**But before you left, with golden ring  
you proposed to me and didn't save me from sorcery  
and didn't let my soul be free**

**  
**I was yours, the instant you smiled that beautiful, cocky smile, undoubtedly, unequivocally. I should have listened to my mother when she tried to intone reality into my rose-tinted life. Instead I said 'yes' … and all I could do was stand at the altar like an idiot, waiting, waiting, waiting for you when you were never going to show.

**Mamo, you've been telling me not to desire  
Mamo, at that time I didn't know where trouble lied  
**

I didn't, I didn't listen to my Mama, I didn't want to believe everything she told me about you, about the type of boy you were, about what you would do to me.

**Mamo, you've been telling me that time is like water  
Mamo, Mamo, Mamo, love is trouble**

Yes, time is like water. It eddies and swirls at different rates, and some of the most agonising moments are drawn out for what seems like an eternity. Like that moment, at the church, where I stood in my beautiful white dress, when I finally realised you were never going to show.

**I will throw away my dream and smash it on the floor  
How you've broken my destiny and set it aside  
I will pour girl's tears like rain**

Because no-one can truly screw a girl up like you: Chad Dylan Cooper, triple-named moron/serial heart-breaker. I've been crying myself to sleep for a year now over you. I don't know why. I hate you now. I hate you with ever fibre of my frail, broken being. I threw everything away: So Random! is now just another piece of my history, like you. You tore my whole life down around my ears.

**Mamo, you've been telling me not to desire  
Mamo, at that time I didn't know where trouble lied  
**

Well, I sure as hell know where it lies now. Trouble lies in you, CDC, the heartbreaker who used to work across the lot. The one who got me pregnant, promised to marry me and then fled at the last minute. What was it you used as an excuse? Oh, right … commitment phobia. And you tried to prove it by bribing an increasingly long line of shrinks to feed me lies.

**Mamo, you've been telling me that time is like water  
Mamo, Mamo, Mamo, love is trouble**

Yes, love is trouble. And as time makes a beautiful young lady out of our – _my _– darling baby girl, I'm going to make sure that she knows it. Never trust a boy who promises to love you forever, because you can be certain his 'forever' is only until the next pretty girl walks across his line of sight.

**Mamo, you've been telling me not to desire  
Mamo, at that time I didn't know where trouble lied  
Mamo, you've been telling me that time is like water  
Mamo, Mamo, Mamo, love is trouble**

You never even ask about her, Chad. You just send the child care cheques winging through the post and refuse to accept any responsibility for the beautiful disaster that ruined my life and gave it meaning in equal measures.

**Mamo, at that time I didn't know where trouble lied  
Mamo, you've been telling me that time is like water**

Do you even know her name? You know what, don't even answer that. Her name is Scarlett. Scarlett Raine. And she's the most beautiful little girl anyone's ever seen. She's got your amazing blue eyes, your cocky smile. But she's got my dark hair and sense of humour, and like the father she'll never know she's a bossy little thing with a backbone of steel. But I adore her.

**Mamo, Mamo, Mamo, love is trouble**

Oh, you better believe it. The only love I'll ever allow myself to feel is for our daughter. Never for anyone else, especially not you. This aching, burning agony I feel is nothing to do with love – this is pure hatred, twisting a flame into my heart, striking a brand on my soul.

_I should have listened. Shit, shit, shit, I should have listened._

~x~

**Favourite without reviewing and I'll eat you.**


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